Some Inspirations From Real Life

We thought that this is a really good story on life traning and so relevant to our topic

Here is how my late precious father, shaped my life. He did this in reference to the scripture saying “you shall know them by the fruits of their work!” That man really respected any little moment that offered him an opportunity to learn something new and to discover. And I sincerely thank him, he was my best teacher! Not pointing the way but accompanying me by doing what he was teaching!

He once told me bless the people who bless you or curse you as you move on in life. Bless too the people who move on from your life and those you move away from, despite the way they live you! Concentrate on the lessons they leave behind for you and not so much the betrayals, pains or momentary happy moments. What is too powerful to me are his words “the greater the gratitude, the greater the rewards. Gratitude is a tenet only found in those who have transcended the ordinary levels of wisdom and maturity.” Hence if you appreciate a little moment of learning, you will become better than your teachers and you will be able to apply the lessons in very extra ordinary ways. That is when you will realize that it is NOT ABOUT YOU OR WHO YOU ARE BUT WHAT YOU CARRY WITH YOU AND WHAT YOU ARE MADE OF (is it hatred and pride or love and humility that makes you)! The people referred to as geniuses are ordinary people, doing the ordinary things extra ordinarily. They have a great focus on what they do and hence derive much learning from it more than all of us doing that same thing. Focus and prioritization are the key.

He loved these words from Martin Luther King Jnr “If you happen to be a street sweeper, you should sweep the streets so clean that if people saw it they would say that here is a great street sweeper. And if one time after you are long gone the host of heaven reviewed your work they would exclaim, WOW! Here lived a great street sweeper.” One time he rebuked me so hard (I was fencing a cowshed) for not doing my work well as I was looking for a short cut. He then made me repeat my work. He always told me that I should always learn from my own weaknesses and always be happy when people know them and point them to me or speak about them, and he was the first person to tell me that I should never wrap my own weaknesses or the weaknesses of people I care about in a Golden Handkerchief!!! I got one day a job of emptying some toilets in my neighborhood and ferrying them by Mkokoteni to the government sewerage around Kitale. When he heard about this job, he told me “you are on the right path son, every work is valuable and an opportunity to learn.” Afterwards I came to Nairobi where I got a job as a cook and he was so happy and told me “son I am sure one time you will grow up and cook for more people but never forget the latreens, streets, the cowshed and the kitchen.” He became much happier when he heard that I was working with Street Children first in Eldoret and later on in Nairobi.

When I joined the university, whenever I would go back home he would teach me carpentry, the work he retired to after he stopped practicing psychiatry as a police officer with a duty of finding “man’s rea” in crimes. And I really enjoyed to be in his simple but beautiful and precious workshop. Despite his age he was doing so many experiments with wood! By the time he died, he was making really good looms! Unfortunately, he was too powerful for me in that I was sometimes running from him and I never ever got to know how to make the loom! If he was there today, I would go to spend sometime with him just to learn the technology of how to make a loom. I remember one time he was showing me one of the looms he had made some modifications on, and according to him there was no need to use the manual filler anymore but just passing the thread and pushing a handle downwards. I nodded my head strongly and smiled broadly but did not understand a thing because I was bored and had my own business. Now that as I come to think of it, I really wish that I had just listened carefully and inquired step by step how the new technology was working.

He continued with his simple but meaningful lessons for all my life. I later on became a builder during my holidays or would go to harvest or weed at other farms and he always smiled at me and told me “son intelligence is contained on the hands-on skills and not how many books you have read.” Then I became a garbage collector in RES and he encouraged me on. And when I lost RES, he told me “son, never curse because what has just happened is the door to your becoming a more precious garbage collector. As you grow up in life, RES will always be a mirror of organizational weaknesses which your new endeavors will always draw from.” In December 2003 he died while I was in Sudan but his words still echo “the wounds of today make us much greater in what we do tomorrow. You can only heal others when you really understand the true meaning of a wound. That is why the healers of the world are referred to as wounded healers. If you are therefore afraid of being wounded, you will never ever become a healer or an agent of transformation.”

My dad taught me humility and taught me the value of hard work and always being open and I thank God that I had a father who was a true teacher. However I remember one last phrase that I heard from him “son the fruits of your hard labor may not be of any value to those you benefiting from them. Even if this happens, move on and concentrate on your work. Do not wait for applause, cheer yourself on and always move to finish everything you have started despite the burden, loneliness and the pain entailed in doing so.” He warned me to guard against becoming over defensive “In any case if you realize that you are always desperate or on the defensive or becoming too sensitive and vulnerable then know that your value is diminishing and you are losing your true worth.” And in showing me that all is vanity he always said “Be bigger than what you have, be bigger than your successes or accomplishments of life, be bigger than what you hear be they praises or curses or complaints! Let them not hold you back! Do not concentrate on them!! Concentrate on your work and your concentration will bear fruits that people will in the long run focus on!!! Ask yourself what God really wants you to have!! God will always fill you up depending on the limits of your imagination. If your imagination is already limited with what you possess, that is the measure that God will also use for you! Never take short cuts by either creating lies or making empty promises or leaving behind unfinished work etc! Never be a busy body!! Be a man of your words!”

Something more, one time when ploughing with the oxen, a big snake was unearthed in one of the furrows and I was very scared. He continued on with ploughing and told me to make sure that I had killed the snake. I killed the snake though with a lot of problems because it was really big and was charging on me after every strike. But he kept on telling me that I must kill the snake as he continued urging on the oxen. I was amazed at his calm. Later I picked some stones I threw them at the snake with a relentless consistency until it died. We then sat and he was satisfied with me and said “what was it you were afraid of” and I told him that the snake was big and was charging at me with every strike. He said “You see son even when on an important mission, you will encounter problems (they could be real or imagined) that seem bigger, and they will charge at you when you try to solve them, you will first have to deal with tem and then continue with your work. If we had not killed that snake it would have waited for us as we made the next furrow. If you do not take care of those minor concerns they will always pull you down. Perfection entails taking care of the minutest details of your work. The details we do not take care of today may be a big cause of deviations, worry, doom and concern tomorrow. What goes around comes around!”

From then on, I never concentrated on applauses or jeers but on the latrines, streets, the kitchen, the buildings, the farms, the animals and the garbage. As a result of this work, many people live a better life. As time passed on I am recognizing that beneath that garbage lies a big treasure, from that kitchen people are fed, in that garden many lives are sustained and in the building people do many things such as learning, resting etc. My dearest, what is it that you are. I am made of the toilet, farm, the building material, the kitchen, the streets and the garbage; what are you made of!!!

I am aware of my own personal weaknesses! I know them from my work places, social places, close friends and a myriad of communications! What I try to do is to live an honest life and sharing to empower. This is the small thing I can be able to do! I started this work since I was 16 years old, and my dad used to encourage me on. On my weaknesses, I usually ask people to do the appraisal and when they are done, I encourage that they are shared openly. And my dad told me “let people know openly and allow that they communicate your problems and weaknesses so as they may not to use them as a manipulation tool!!!! Openness is what will strengthen you!” He added, “son live a clean life, be honest! Never allow yourself be lazy or to take short cuts! Empower others, and never use manipulation, usury or avarice!!! Never be a saint fool but strive to reach intelligent sainthood!!!” Severally he sat with me and asked me to make an honest assessment of him. In most cases, I never utilized those moments meaningfully but complained about so many things I needed from him. And he told me, that dependence is a bad disease! When I sincerely evaluated him the last time we met, he shed tears, hugged and told me that he thinks now I have become the mature son made out of the Ochanda blood! That is the time I became interested in the loom but unfortunately, I became too busy in KARDS and Koinonia! The loom he was to make for me, was never made as he went to heaven after collecting the wood. This wood was used for the funeral fire! I will eventually have to make this loom on my own. And I think that this is the most important lesson and inheritance he left for me, “son you have seen it so you can do it.”

It is a fact that weaknesses are universal. The way we look at them could either contribute towards strengthening us or weakening us. If you met my dad today he would tell you “Thank God that you have a weakness.” But the Ochanda in him would also add, “However blessed is he or she who after realizing that he or she has a weakness, tries as much as possible to learn from it or even seeks for help; this type of person is made out of a true spirit of humility and he or she is wise and shall prosper. In humility you will find all the Godly reserves of wisdom. And doomed is he or she who pretends that he or she has no weaknesses as they will never learn from their weaknesses; this person is foolish and too proud and pride comes before a BIG fall! In pride you will find all the satanic reserves of wisdom.” Infact where weaknesses are hidden a fertile ground for vulnerability emerges when they are discovered. Kindly never forget humility, it will be your great arm our. And this was what my Old Man passed to me; his simple practical wisdom of life!! He was a genius! I miss him so much. MAY GOD RECEIVE MY DAD AND ALL OUR DEAR AND LOVED ONES IN PARADISE!!

I do hope most answers to my life’s questions can be found from this powerful and wonderfully lived experience with the Heavenly! There are infinite number of lessons captured in these pages! Unfortunately it will take me a whole life time to unearth them! I pray for wisdom! I also choose wisdom.

Small things are the ones taking people up. They are the same things that bring great people down!